Just a short story to whet the whistle

Rain, rain and more Rain, that’s all he saw when he poked his head of his front door that fateful Friday morning. Rain pissing down like it had been for the last 3 days. “But you just know that the moment the fucking sun shows it’s face they will be moaning about a lack of water and banning people from using hose pipes.” Dave thought.

#

It had really been a crap week, on Monday he rolled into work, trying to find the enthusiasm to actually make some progress on any of the myriad of projects that were currently on his todo lists, however that had gone out the window when he was collared by one of his co-workers, before he had even managed to get his coat off.

“Why haven’t the GI specs gone out yet?” Martin asked.

“Errr” Dave started, trying desperately to remember which of the projects they related to.

“Come on, they should have gone out to the Client on Friday, Mr. Lucas phoned chasing me up and you know that he’s going to be on the phone to the director by lunch time if they haven’t got them.”

“Ok, I’ll get them together and get them out straight away” he replied, still no clearer in his mind as to which project this was, which spec and even who Mr Lucas was.

When he reached his desk , the message light on his phone was blinking away like a harbinger of doom. Deciding that ignoring it for now was the best policy he began to search for some indication of who this client was and which spec he had forgotten to send.

He was still searching some time later when his office door burst open and his Manager burst in. From the look on his face Dave could tell this was not good news and from the moment that Simon opened his mouth, things just got worse and worse.

“David, this GI spec was due with the Client on Friday, they have just spoken to the Director who I have just spent 5 mins on the phone with persuading him not to fire your ass on the spot. If that wasn’t bad enough, when I located the spec on the system it was not finished and what was there didn’t meet up to what I consider were acceptable standards. I have given the spec to Martin to do and I want you to spend the rest of the week reviewing everything that you currently have outstanding and putting together a status report for each and every project. Consider yourself on a warning and lucky not to be being escorted out of the building by security.”

Simon left the office, slamming the door behind him, leaving Dave slumped in his chair behind his desk. He sat there for the next 30 mins staring at the walls, Did he really need this job? Was this really what he wanted to do with his life? Sadly enough while the answer to the latter question was no, he did need a job and whilst he hated this job with a passion, he had to hold on to it until he could find something else. The rest of the day was spent alternately updating his CV and starting putting the status report together. When he left work at the end of the day, the sun that still shone seemed to be mocking him and his state of mind. He left the office on foot and walked down to the bus stop and joined the lengthy queue for the bus, it was almost inevitable that when the bus finally arrived, he had just made it to the doors the bus driver announced that the bus was full and had shut the doors and driven off. Rather than wait the 30 mins until the next bus, Dave trudged home on foot.

#

Tuesday was no better he struggled in through the rain and when he arrived in the office it was was obvious that his co-workers were shunning him, conversations stopped when he walked into the coffee room alone, because no-one had put their head into his office to ask if he wanted a drink, as they had previously. He knew that his days here were numbered, he was not blind to the fact that this status report was simply a tool to allow the company to hand his work over to someone else. He wasn’t even sure why he was bothering completing it anyway, but some kind of inner-professionalism kept him going forward.

He left work that night heading into town rather than home a date with his on again off again girlfriend arranged when they had gone out on Saturday. He met Carla out side the cinema where she had already selected the film they were going to see.

“It’s the romantic comedy of the year” she gushed as they entered the theatre.

Dave was already trying to work out if there was anyway he could actually fake some kind of seizure to get out of this, but Carla’s grip on his hand was a clear indication that this was something he was going to have to suffer through.

And suffer through he did, the inane characters and stupid plot did nothing to improve his mood and Carla picked up on this.  She began with a simple “Are you OK”, to which his simple one word “Yes” was obviously a lie and she began what was obviously in her view an attempt to get him to open up and feel better, whilst he saw it as her attempts to pry.  In the end words were said by both of them, tears shed by her and she stormed off probably in his view for the last time. It hadn’t been the greatest of relationships by any means but she had been one of the people who he considered a friend and he had very few of them.

#

Wednesday morning, more rain, at work it was as if he was moving round in a bubble of silence as no one spoke to him, even his boss ignored him in the corridor and his e-mail inbox sat empty.  At lunch time he left the office to go somewhere different, having eaten lunch in the restaurant at work for the last 2 years, sitting there now with everyone ignoring him would be too much.  After purchasing a sandwich from the cafe at the corner he returned back to his desk and looked down at the concoction of dried bread and rubbery ham, eventually throwing into the bin without even tasting it.  He left work that night and didn’t even bother waiting for a bus, but stopped at his local supermarket for some food.   It wasn’t until he arrived home that he realised that he had failed to buy his normal lottery ticket and the pessimist within him was hardly surprised when his numbers came up.  No he wouldn’t have won the jackpot but £79 was not to be sneezed at.  He crawled into bed that night feeling that the whole world was against him.

#

Thursday and the rain was well and truly set in now, his walk to work would have seen him wet through, however that was the least of his worries as a car passed straight through a large puddle as it went passed him, he was now wet, muddy and he could taste a metallic taste in his mouth which he suspected was motor oil.  He arrived at work a mess and as he walked in the door he bumped into Simon who was hardly impressed with his appearance.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing coming in like that”

“But it wasn’t my fault, a car splashed me”

“I don’t care, we have some clients coming round today and there is no way that they are seeing you like that.”

“But But But”

“Go home and don’t come back today, I’m going to dock you a days wages for this”

“But But But”

“GET OUT” Simon nearly shouted and Dave turned round and back out of the door into the rain.  He slowly made his way back home, the rain thankfully hiding from all around him the tears making their way down his cheeks.

#

Rain, rain and more Rain, that’s all he saw when he poked his head of his front door that fateful Friday morning. Rain pissing down like it had been for the last 3 days. “But you just know that the moment the fucking sun shows it’s face they will be moaning about a lack of water and banning people from using hose pipes.” Dave thought.

He wasn’t sure if it was worth heading into work, he had managed to wash his suit and get it dried, at least that had been one benefit of being at home yesterday, but in the end he was out of the door at the normal time.  He walked down the road his neck bunched up trying to stop the water running down his neck, his umbrella long ruined by the heavy rain and wind of the last few days.  He got to the main road and walked to the pedestrian crossing and waited for the traffic to stop, once it had he began to cross.  He never saw the lorry coming down the road from the left until the noise turned his head in that direction.  By that time it had plowed into the back of the Volvo Estate.  His mind had time to process this fact and in those last seconds his mind was marvelling at how strong those cars were that it had withstood the impact with so little damage.  As the Volvo crashed into him and he slid under the bonnet the one thought went through his head.  “FUCKING TYPICAL!!”

Burn Baby Burn!!

Oh boy was last night a bit of a mistake or what???

Last night my parents, brother, wife and I ended up going to see Braniac Live, the Live (obviously) version of the hit show from Sky One.  For those who have never seen the show, it consists of many different experiments being performed, ranging from the sublime, “What is the most slippery substance in the kitchen”, through the bizarre “Can you walk on Custard” to the down right ridiculous “Which cutlery item is the best for eating Baked Beans”.  Most of the experiments usually involve explosives or pain for the Brainiacs and the Live show was no different.  However there was one minor issue with the show, the large no. of kids in the audience which we didn’t anticipate.  This did of course mean that on many occasion we could hardly hear what the Brainiacs were saying over the screaming of the annoying little people!!

Other than that the show was very entertaining with large no.s of explosions that kept us all jumping even to the end.  The range of experiments were very interesting and the on-going commentary was pitched perfectly with the right amount of jokes hitting the kids and a load more going right over their heads, perfectly aimed at us adults.

The big question though is would I recommend anyone else going to see it.  If you have kids then the answer is a resounding yes, they will love it.  If you don’t have kids, then it all comes down to whether you can cope with an auditorium full of screaming kids, in my case offered a repeat performance, I would have to politely decline, that many kids in a single location is not my cup of tea.