Some people have too much time on their hands.

This guy has way too much time and little respect for Creme Eggs

This is just wierd….

“WA Today from Australia posted this story about 130,000 inflatable boobs that were lost at sea en route to Australia. They were part of a promotion for men’s magazine, Ralph. When the ship arrived, the boobs were found to be missing.”

Men’s magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP’s parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt…

Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

“Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are,” Pintado said.

“If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.”

The 6 phases of a Job

Phase 1?

You are listening to jazz –?Your first day at work is great. Your coworkers are wonderful, your cubicle is cute, and your boss is the best!

Phase 2

You are listening to pop music –?After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you’re coming or going anymore.

Phase 3

You are listening to heavy metal –?This is what you feel like at month end.

Phase 4

You are listening to hip hop –?You become bloated due to stress, feel sluggish and suffer from constipation. Your coworkers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your cubicle are closing in. You have started thinking ‘WHATEVER’ about your boss.

Phase 5

You are listening to GANGSTA RAP –?After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a ‘good hair day’ feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.

Phase 6

You are listening to the voices in your head –?You build a makeshift door on your cubicle to keep people out, You have a dartboard with your bosses picture on it in your cube, You wonder why you are even here in the first place.

It’s time for a bit of Maths

Remember Learning Theorem’s in School Math?

Amazing theorem

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys

To Conclude
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Knightmare

Well we have already talked about how Tregar from Knightmare now works for our company and is constantly giving DM a hard time.  However investigators have now un-earthed the truth and more members of the Knightmare cast do work here, in fact many of them you are already aware of, many of them have in the past writen blogs.

So there’s the group shot, so you are asking who is who, well to start with we have the man himself.

Well you have already heard of him, DM’s nemesis.

With this one, what can I say, DM seems to be a little overdue on that hair cut, and even at this early stage, you can already see the resentment that he feels towards the main man.

Wiwad, why exactly he went for red-highlights is a strange one, Dell was always blue.

Squadron Leader playing with his wand.

How exactly George was let out of his cell at this time is a real puzzle

Dornon, back in those days he really took his D&D  playing seriously.

Cartoon Dog, still trying to restrain the Mitchell brothers

BZ waiting for things to develop

Chad in his pre “Mr Claypole” days.

Tom Thumb, with that smile on his face you have to assume that George had got to him first.

Burn Baby Burn!!

Oh boy was last night a bit of a mistake or what???

Last night my parents, brother, wife and I ended up going to see Braniac Live, the Live (obviously) version of the hit show from Sky One.  For those who have never seen the show, it consists of many different experiments being performed, ranging from the sublime, “What is the most slippery substance in the kitchen”, through the bizarre “Can you walk on Custard” to the down right ridiculous “Which cutlery item is the best for eating Baked Beans”.  Most of the experiments usually involve explosives or pain for the Brainiacs and the Live show was no different.  However there was one minor issue with the show, the large no. of kids in the audience which we didn’t anticipate.  This did of course mean that on many occasion we could hardly hear what the Brainiacs were saying over the screaming of the annoying little people!!

Other than that the show was very entertaining with large no.s of explosions that kept us all jumping even to the end.  The range of experiments were very interesting and the on-going commentary was pitched perfectly with the right amount of jokes hitting the kids and a load more going right over their heads, perfectly aimed at us adults.

The big question though is would I recommend anyone else going to see it.  If you have kids then the answer is a resounding yes, they will love it.  If you don’t have kids, then it all comes down to whether you can cope with an auditorium full of screaming kids, in my case offered a repeat performance, I would have to politely decline, that many kids in a single location is not my cup of tea.

Is your right foot really that smart???

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this!!! It is from an orthopedic surgeon…………

This will boggle your mind and will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can’t.

It’s pre-programmed in your brain!

1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY……) and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6″ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!! And there’s nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you’ve not already done so.

Send it to your friends to frustrate them too!

If I was a writer

Here are my suggestions for story lines for some of the standard fare of films that are served up each year.

Jame Bond/Any other spy film – Bond is captured breaking into some hi-security offices that serve as the base for the main baddie in the film. Baddie kills him.

Alien invasion – Aliens are detected by long range radar and we have 1 year’s notice before they are going to arrive. 51 weeks later the US agrees to classify the alien threat as worringing, following study groups, investigations and numerous meetings. Aliens land and GWB launches a full nuclear strike on their landing site, the White House Lawn.

Romance – Complete geek attempts to land the prettiest girl in school. Prettiest girl in schools get her boyfriend to beat up the geek and post the video of it on YouTube.

Horror – Group of college kids head out to the local lake for a weekend of “recreation”, the lone nut attacks them and is killed in a hail of gunfire as each of the kids pulls out their “personal protection” and lets rip.

Why Men are never Depressed!!

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People– Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it

Come on the Chairboys http://www.wycombewanderers.premiumtv.co.uk/page/Home/!!!